So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
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