He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
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