I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
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