you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
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