just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
Randomize
