I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
Randomize
