yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
