I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
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