i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
Randomize
