Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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