nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
