You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
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