he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
Sacagawea was the original milf.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
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