she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
Randomize
