I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
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