I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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