like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Randomize
