Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
Randomize
