Whod you bang
Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
Randomize
