Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
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