He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
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