in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
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