Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
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