Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
Randomize
