I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
