someone get that fucking seahorse.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Panties = found
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Randomize
