chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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