Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
I think weed is turning my hair brown
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
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