Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
Randomize
