no you cant smoke seaweed
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
Im part way to drunk.
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Randomize
