i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
Randomize
