listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
God I need to hump something, right now.
Randomize
