Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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