we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
Randomize
