2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Panties = found
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
