No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
if only i could text you this smell
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
Randomize
