O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Randomize
