I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
Randomize
