We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
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