My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Randomize
