We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
Randomize
