Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
Randomize
