Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
Randomize
