that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Randomize
