College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize