So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Randomize
