No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize