I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Randomize
