So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
