ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
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