It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Randomize
