wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
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