i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
Im part way to drunk.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
i now understand why vodka
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
Randomize
