Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
Randomize
