No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
Randomize
