I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
Randomize
