I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
Randomize
