Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
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