the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
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