so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Randomize
