sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Randomize
