she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
