Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
The police scanner is talking about you again....
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
Randomize
