people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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